Month: December 2024

kindness in a montessori classroom

~ keystomontessori ~ Leave a comment

One positive aspect of the social media explosion is the ease of staying in touch that it affords. Alumni and their parents now share their post-Montessori school experiences more freely, because it’s just a click/send away. For some past students, their time in a Montessori school represents 12 years of their life, building a sense of ownership and home that is not forgotten by a mere change of address. In short, these schools commonly receive letters. The following is from a parent, a forwarding of an e-mail the parent had received from a high school teacher of a Montessori graduate: 

“I just wanted to let you know your son ended the semester with one of the only A+ with Honors I have ever given. On that note while I know you know how talented he is, I want to throw in my 2 cents that he should take as many AP classes as possible next year. I have tried hard to keep him challenged in my class, but he is so far beyond other students that I don’t think regular classes are the place for him.”

Truthfully, this is not uncommon for Montessori graduates, but the parent highlighted the second part of the teacher’s e-mail as being more meaningful: 

“The other thing I think is great about your son is that even though he finishes his work easily, he helps other students. There is one student in particular that sits next to him and she struggles every day. With the patience of a teacher he helps her ALL class. Sometimes I think she is going to wear on his patience but he just gently answers her questions.”

Can kindness, in fact, be taught? As Montessorians, we would answer, “No more than we ‘teach’ geography or arithmetic or science.” Rather, a Montessori school creates an environment, carves a space, and maintains a culture that allows a natural process to take place. And while it is not quantified on any conference report, the grace and courtesy aspect of our curriculum is an integral component of the fabric of our classrooms. This serves, strongly, as the tapestry on which our lessons are woven. It is so present, in fact, that a consistent comment I hear from prospective parents, even after a mere 20-minute observation, is the kindness they witness amongst our students, regardless of class level. Most Montessori teachers will relate similar comments from docents, waiters, park rangers, or other adults encountered on field trips.

One time, after an especially moving observation, a prospective parent sat with me in the hallway, asking me the hows and whys of our school. This parent enthusiastically embraced the peacefulness and kindness she saw that morning. “Does that happen every day?,” she asked, perhaps a little suspicious. At that precise moment, two 3-year-olds walked by, hand in hand, on their way to deliver a note to the office. “Yeah,” I said, “Pretty much.”

the spilled water lesson(s)

~ keystomontessori ~ Leave a comment

Maria Montessori said, “Never help a child with a task in which he feels he can be successful.”  This means that a child who is learning something new should be given the freedom to try to succeed.  If we as the adults rush in to “save the child”, the child will not learn.  Children learn through their activity, through their effort, and, very importantly, through their mistakes!  

Let us consider a child in our classroom.  He approaches the practical life area and sees a tray containing a small pitcher of water and a glass; it is a pouring work to practice control of movement.  He chooses to bring it to a table where a friend awaits.  The teacher is observing closely.  Perhaps this child has been shy about trying new things and here he is, ready to take on this challenge.  He has been given a lesson in carrying a tray with water and cup.  One must be very careful when lifting the tray, to turn slowly, and place each foot slowly, one in front of the other, as you move across the room, keeping one’s eye on the tray to keep it level.  He takes one step, two steps, he hears a bird call and his attention is drawn away from the tray.  The pitcher begins to slide…..!

The teacher is still watching.  They consider to themselves, “What is the best thing that could happen right now?” “What is the worst?”  We may think that the best thing to happen would be for the child to successfully walk across the room and gently place the tray and pitcher on the table.  How proud he will be!!  He did it!  And this would be wonderful, no doubt.  But let us consider the opposite outcome.  The tray tilts, the pitcher slides, the water, pitcher and cup all spill to the ground.  What does the teacher do?  The child is upset and so the teacher comes to his side and comforts him, yes, but very quickly asks him what he needs in order to clean the spill (a rag, they are kept by the sink), how to sweep up any pieces of pitcher or cup (a broom and dustpan hangs on the wall), how to wring the wet rag out (a bucket is under the sink), and how to tell his friends and classmates to be careful of the spot until it dries.

What are the lessons learned here?

  1. My teacher loves me.  They do not yell or scold me if I make a mistake. If I make a mistake in my math or reading, they will not be angry.  I have learned that it is a good thing to try things that are difficult. I will learn more if I take risks, try difficult math problems, sound out difficult reading words.
  2. When I make a mistake, there is a way that I can make it better. I have learned that math problems can be corrected, words can be erased and spelled correctly.  If I hurt a friend’s feelings, there is a way to make it up.  My actions have consequences, and I must deal with them, but I can try to correct my mistakes.
  3. This is how a spill is cleaned, I know where the tools are and how to use them.  I have learned that I can be independent. I can take care of things on my own.  I don’t realize that the movement of my arm in wiping the spill, and the fine motor control I exercised in wringing the water out will help me later when I learn to hold a paintbrush and pencil and learn to draw and write.
  4. The whole class has learned a lesson!  All eyes are on the teacher if the water spills, to see how they will react.  There is no scolding, no impatience, no anger.  Only calm and peace.  The rest of the children learn that this is a safe place.  Engage, try, fail, try again, succeed!